If you are traveling around the Multiverse, there are certain things that you are bound to encounter on many different worlds- even ones that seem rather too wildly different to have anything in common. Some things found on many different alien worlds include trees, bipedal lifeforms, and artichoke dip- evolutionary quirks that are so well adapted to such a wide variety of environments, that you can find them nearly anywhere.
Unfortunately, one such thing is spiders. Whether you’re exploring the windswept floating isles of Aerie, the subterranean depths of the Underworld, or even the sunny cities of Melioria or Moogsphere IV, you are sadly quite likely to find a fair bit of eight legged, eight eyed arthropods with a taste for your flesh. Us Earthlings are blessed in that, for some reason or other, our spiders are unusually small. This is not the case elsewhere in the Multiverse, and you should be aware how to deal with these creatures. Actually, we weren’t specifically asked about this- our readers seem more inclined to demand where they can purchase kobolds, apparently having mistaken our question and answer forum for a Trade Federation kobold order form. However, the fact of the matter is that dealing with spiders can be just as important as knowing how to purify water, locate a reliable source of food and shelter, activate an Ether Spool, or summon up the essence of a deadly Argylian- something that any traveler of the Multiverse should be well aware how to do.
- Keep in mind that spiders are not necessarily evil, (Like politicians, TJC employees, or deadly Argylians.) They are simply an ordinary, eight-legged predator, that you do not want to get on the wrong side of. Keeping this in mind, don’t take it personally if a spider tries to maul you while wandering through a wilderness world. Really, it’s your own fault for not being aware of your surroundings!
- Spiders are irritating enough that they warrant their own section of our practical tips for interdimensional travelers. They are very quiet, frequently have venomous mandibles, and are very good at sneaking up on people. While the behaviors of spiders will vary based on which plane of the Multiverse you find yourself on, these creatures generally prefer to make their homes in dark, damp areas such as caves and dense old-growth forests. They are territorial, but will generally leave you alone if you stay out of their personal space. Do not get in a spider’s personal space. These large eight legged arthropods may look fuzzy and adorable, but this will change the first time one of them tries to rip off your arm.
- Spiders tend to hunt alone, but if you do somehow manage to injure one, it will often turn any other spiders in the area hostile. As such, if confronted by a bunch of spiders at once, it is definitely in your best interests to go somewhere else.
- Finally, how to deal with spider venom! If you are frantically scanning this section in hopes of some information on dealing with deadly spider venom, congratulations! We probably should have included this information at the beginning of the section. With this in mind, there are so many different kinds of spiders with such a wide variety of new and interesting deadly neurotoxins, that it’s really difficult to know what will be effective without a fair bit of information on the spiders in question. Your best bet, as with any wounds, is to treat the wound carefully, and hope dearly that your immune system/medical nanobots know what they’re doing. Our advice for dealing with spider venom? Don’t get bitten by spiders!
Have any questions about traveling the Multiverse, interesting things you can find in the Multiverse, and new and exciting predators that will pursue you across the Multiverse? You could have your question featured in this section of practical advice for interdimensional travelers! Write your question on a piece of paper, light the paper on fire, and sing the first three verses of ‘A Shoehorn with Teeth.’
