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Excerpts from the Cartographer’s Guide #704 ~ Regarding Equipment

My traveling companion has pointed out that the section of our travel guide devoted to what you should pack while exploring alien worlds is several pages long- and that section, believe it or not, is an excerpt from a nearly two hundred page, rather meandering list of things the Cartographers Guild recommends all travelers bring with them on any expedition. Many of our readers have asked for a shorter list of things to bring with them. To be fair, the complete Guild list of items totals at nearly several hundred metric tons, and would require a small freighter to haul if you were to actually bring everything- making the list significantly heavier than the combined weight of everything on it.

Because of this, we’ve deemed it best to provide our readers with a shorter list of important things to pack while exploring alien worlds. These are the bare essentials, and neglecting to bring any of these items with you on your explorations of other dimensions can be even more dangerous than exploring other dimensions of the Multiverse normally is. 

  • A Knife ~ In addition to such essential tools as energy blasters, Ether spoolers, and Quantum Magnificators, (Because anything sounds fancier if you put the word ‘quantum’ in front of it), a knife- or rather, a convenient sharp object- has numerous applications. Too many, in fact, to mention in this brief section. Suffice to say, you should bring one with you. 
  • A Backpack ~ Or rather, something to carry things with. Many travelers are so busy remembering to pack all their spell books and power cells that they forget that these things are useless without something to carry your stuff in. Packs are surprisingly difficult to make, and without one you’ll be limited to whatever you can carry in your two hands. (Or other appendages, depending on how many appendages are average for your species.)
  • A Compass ~ Or rather, something with which to navigate. While a regular compass can be helpful if you’re on a world with regular magnetic poles, there are other means of finding where you’re going. Using the sun/suns as a reference point can be helpful, but this isn’t reliable depending on where you are. The Guild issues all purpose digital compasses for most interdimensional travelers, designed to work in a wide variety of alternate universes.
  • Food ~ Depending on what your species needs to stay alive. Earthlings tend to find it prudent to bring food and water when exploring worlds where food and water are not present, or are viciously guarded by angry robots or mutant arachnids. Food is important! 
  • A Towel ~ This should go without saying, for very, very obvious reasons.
  • A Guidebook ~ And, last but not least, a guidebook is an important thing to bring with on any misguided adventure. Whether that means a literal book, an e-book containing information on cataloged worlds, or a magical mirror that offers you helpful information regarding your current location in iambic pentameter. Popular guidebooks for Interdimensional Travelers include ‘Federation Regulation & Uncharted Dimensions.’ ‘1,000,000,0002 Popular Tourist Destinations for Explorers of the Multiverse,’ and of course, the recently published classic, ‘The Cartographer’s Guide.’ 


Have any questions about traveling the Multiverse, interesting things you can find in the Multiverse, or secret organizations that may try and obliterate you from distant parts of the Multiverse? You could have your question featured in this section of practical advice for interdimensional travelers! Mail your letter to your local shadow government, with specific orders to bake the letter into a sandwich, and feed the sandwich in question to an anthropomorphic root vegetable.

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